There’s nothing as excruciating than suffering in silence. As I come to think of it guilt and fear can arguably come close. even though they sting differently the effects are crippling to the mind as well.
I spent most of my free time this weekend just going through some videos online and I stumbled upon a youtube channel of a fellow brethren in the faith who gave a talk on “Finding your soul mate” as usual the topic peaked my interest but this time I was hesitant to listen to the entire lesson. some how I kept on listening and actually found myself participating in the little interactive spaces of the presentations where Pastor Toure Roberts would say, “hey…jokingly, or tell your neighbor this….”
My outlook on relationships obviously do blend with his ideas and teachings a little; seeing that we both are Christians and base our beliefs in the teachings of the church and the instructions of the bible. Obviously there wasn’t much to disagree with until he narrated a few life experiences when he was single and dating.
He spoke of being in four separate relationships and knowing they weren’t right for him but still remained in them because he didn’t want to accept what God has shown him and also because he was selfish. He didn’t want to start all over again and he wasn’t ready to face his own brokenness.
He described reaching a point where he decided to surrender the choice of a life partner to God. Before that He thought those four times he had to be the one to choose his spouse and have God place a stamp of approval after he has done all the work of knowing his spouse and the relationship is heading towards marriage.
Hmm…. but it isn’t it how its suppose to be? This words left me in a mood of confusion where I was battling this new understanding and how I’ve always thought a good relationship should go.
Instantly I started comparing notes mentally on my current relationship and what I have been doing. You know your girl felt empowered for a minute right? I was pumped and ready to make changes where necessary; be it in releasing myself completely to God to let him take the lead in the relationship or just praying about everything involving the relationship. Frankly, Its seems to be working.
For christian singles If a relationship takes precedence over God its definitely unhealthy for your spiritual growth am not saying you won’t be challenged in doing this. But if we are honest we know when God is being uplifted and we know when he isn’t. In soul searching I cannot be casual or lazy about God and giving my best work towards a relationship that is pulling me away from Him. Its either God stays and the relationship takes the form that God intended for it.
No one can serve two masters ( Mathew 6:24)
It would be nice to get away with things occasionally, you know sometimes you just wanna be excused without getting a reminder of what you intentionally left out. I sometimes do it. I’ll interrupt a conversation without an “excuse me” I try to get my point across, and move on. Some people may more than likely judge me right off the bat with my actions, but sometimes I just can’t be bothered.
I wouldn’t be at peace knowing I’ve disregarded protocol and manners just because I felt like it; I mean the practise of etiquettes manners are part of our culture for good reasons, the fact that I don’t feel like it doesn’t make it non existent.
which is why I have to acknowledge my friend who I’ve known for quite a long time, who has accepted me as a young writer to be her blogging contributor. yay! thanks *Purple Diva*
So last week, This same friend posted on her social media walls; her need of a contributor for her blog I immediately notified her of my interest here’s why; a few months back I made an attempt to start a blog myself, but the ideas on what to write didn’t come as easily as I thought it would however, I held on to the idea privately in my head hoping that one day my skills will be put to use, and now here I am Blogging!
I offered to take on this role knowing fully well I’ll have to be committed to the task and also to myself. It takes discipline to achieve all that it just doesn’t land on you or happen overnight. You have to work at it even when you don’t feel like it. Hold yourself accountable. Think of who you will be letting down and whose life you may change and influence if you keep at it.
Seeing things as just plain and simple is a ‘cop out’ our actions have effects in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms. It is honorary to be able to see that and act based on that understanding. As much as we love to say, “life is easy” to an extent that is true but we know ‘there’s more to that, that meets the eye’ in the statement.
Do not casually do things, let it have meaning. If your heart’s not in it then what does it profit a man?
Its no surprise…its basic economics…high demand high prices!
So it’s 7:21 am here, but am still rolling lazily on my bed knowing fully well that I have some tasks to complete. e.g am a business major in school I have about four business reports due this month and final exams that are just around the corner. Its not that I don’t care if I don’t pass; I really do,but I seem to be driving on ‘E’ at this point.
As much as I want to be done with these tasks my attitude towards it does not support it, and I am finding it difficult to trust myself. So here, and now I have decided to hold myself accountable for my actions. I have released the weight holding me back and pulling me away from the challenge at hand by making this public. Now I have an obligation that every one knows about. I feel like sharing this will motivate me to get serious about the projects and really get in to it before the due date.